Paper Bits » life

How I will die

Josh — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:59:38 +0000

Via ponycat.

Happy Independence Day!

Josh — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 15:00:08 +0000

To all my friends Stateside, happy 4th of July.

To everyone else: Enjoy the extra bandwidth on WoW as Americans play outside for once.

How To Tell That It’s Spring

Josh — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:11:46 +0000

The neighbor’s car is parked just outside my window. And it has a new friend. Or, perhaps, an enemy.

A large, bright red cardinal is perched on it, looking pissed off and mussed. He’s a beautiful bird, with the brightest yellow beak I’ve seen, and deep red plumage. He’s loud, too. I’m not looking out the window, but I can hear him go “CHEEP!“

And for the last ten minutes or so, I’ve been at the window watching him do battle with the side-view mirror of the neighbor’s car.

This is fantastic entertainment.

He’ll fly away for a bit, then come back, perch on the window, and beat his beak and wings on the mirror. Then he’ll perch on the mirror, looking around for his vanished opponent, and loudly declaring himself the victor. “CHEEP! CHEEP!“

And then I hear him pecking at the mirror again.

I’m going to go shoo him away. Not because he’s bothering me (I could watch this all day), but because I don’t want him to beat himself unconscious and be eaten by a cat.

Somewhere in this, there is a metaphor for something or other. But for now, the moral of the story is thus:

“Cardinals are stupid. But pretty.”

I didn’t promise you profound.

Talk is free

Josh — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:57:11 +0000

It seems that comment spam and blog comments have done some subtle damage.

You see, until just now, I had Wordpress set so that only previously-approved authors got automatically accepted for comments. I figured, that was enough — if you’ve posted before, no problem. Otherwise, hold for moderation, and I’d just accept the real comments.

Then I found a few comment notifications in my spam filter. Someone had tried to post a couple of times, and got nothing. Finally, they gave up.

That sucks. Especially since it was someone who had something nice to say, and Murphy knows, there’s little enough of that in the world. And the web.

So. Comments: open.

cricketschirp

Well, that’s okay, then. :)

Things I learned on a trip to IKEA

Josh — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 01:26:42 +0000

It takes a Google Documents spreadsheet, six index cards, an iPhone, and a calculator to buy bookshelves, a TV stand, and a futon. Rather, it does if you’re me. Rational people will likely get by with less.
When you’ve printed the Google Spreadsheet that you and your wife hashed out, with catalog numbers and expected cost, be certain to leave them on the printer tray in your office. Then, for extra fun, realize your mistake as you pull into the parking lot, an hour away from home.
When you use the iPhone Google Docs interface to pull the shopping list up — and find it to be fully usable, even over EDGE — be certain to revel in that “holy shit, I’m living in the future” moment.
Mumbled announcements over the PA are indistinguishable from Swedish.
How to tell the difference between the fake workstations and the real office that I accidentally wandered into: The real office has paper and crap all over the desks, like real people have.
You do not steer five hundred pounds of bookshelves on a cart. You make polite suggestions. These will ~~sometimes~~ be ignored. I apologize to everyone whom I nearly ran over.
There is nothing quite like coming home, unloading a truck, taking sixteen ibuprofen, and staring at a bunch of flat packs. The certainty of wordless puzzlegram instructions and innumerable opportunities for self-injury fills the heart with a special kind of joy.
Going to IKEA alone is a stupid idea, but at least I didn’t have a teenager along. My sympathies to the poor soul in line behind me. And thanks for helping me stop the cart before it squished that old lady.